Мы все придумали сами, даже того, кто придумал нас (с)/ Принц с принципами
Автор: flying_down
Фэндом: Code Geass
Название: The fine line between clones and helmets
Пейринг и прочие: Сузаку Куруруги\Юфемия Британская, Зеро, Ллойд, Сесиль
Жанр: Пародия-профана́ция!
Язык: Английский
Перевод: пока не предвидется
Рейтинг: R
Предупреждение: Большое и жирное ООС! Некоторые после прочтения этого захотят по мне проехаться Ланселотом. Я на это готова. Я просто чудовище... ^^"
Дисклеймер: тихое помешательство – мое, герои – совместное порождение Горо Танигучи, Ичиро Окоучи и художественного коллектива CLAMP . У каждого свой сценарий и свой полет.
читать дальше
Summary: The story follows “The symbol of justice” in its style and themes. Sorry, if the humor may be a little outdated but I just couldn’t ignore such funny coincidence. Yes, there are quite a lot of them if you look thoroughly enough. Despite the aura of heart break, Code Geass provides a thick satire piece (hey, you should definitely watch the twelfth episode of the second season). Come to think of it, you’ll probably discover that this wonderful show seems to be an evident parody on our own reality behind that entire romantic grotesque. So onward I go…
Warning: I do not advise to read this story for those who really sympathizes with princess Euphemia about her terrivle death. It may look like a malicious insult but I'll repeat it once again. This is a damn parody. Nothing is sacred enough for a parody!! Do not take it very much to heart because author, herself, adores princess and her principles. And there's no need for comments about my immoral writing because ethics isn't a foreign notion for me! I'm not deleting it.
A parody of a parody…
The fine line between clones and helmets
The golden lines below are currently flowing from nowhere in particular… but, in fact, the author can assure any reader that these bright letters actually appear from the bottom of the current page, because hypothetically speaking… starting with the prudent and accurate philosophers of Ancient Greece we do still believe that something can’t originate from nothing…but it spoils the writer’s message, so he will ignore the Law for the sake of his selfish artistic fancy…
Divided into three parts by those who sought control over common minds, the world is hanging now on the thinnest thread of a ghostly hope. While the gods are keeping their peace, a deathly power is rising in the mortal realm threatening to shatter the Sacred Existence and Cosmic Order. The British Empire, the greatest force of all times, plans to overtake the freedom of all independent alliances in order to fulfill the most fearsome nightmare of the Humankind. The conflict between nations becomes inevitable when a mystical alien energy emerges along with the Sakuradite hunting, the mineral that repeats the history of gold, petroleum, uranium and shungite (what? It’s a very scarce rock, mined only in Karelia). Thus the people of Earth have submerged into the Geass Wars. The power of the cult is given to both sides. Will the darkness prevail over the light or will those brave withstand the global menace? Only time can tell…
.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,
Stage 1/23: Confused bloodlines and vicissitudes of telegenesis
A snow-white cubicle deprived of any life form (designed specially for those who suffer from verminophobia) besides two people: a beautiful but frail-looking young woman, lying on her deathbed, and a crying youth in a bloodstained uniform, who’s shaking while holding her pale hand.
- Su…su…zaku (she whispers feebly)…
- Yes, my dear Euphy… (his voice full of anxiety)
- How’s…my…my (she coughs)…
- Your project…Special Administrative Zone of Japan… it’s fi…fine (tries to sooth her)
- No! You silly knight… my buns are disheveled, aren’t they… Has the wind ruined my hairdo? (nervously, attempts to reach her temples with the free hand but fails miserably)
- Negative, your highness… they’re perfect as usual (grins foolishly)!
- What a nasty little liar you are…
- Sorry, my princess… I’ll reform, just hold on… I can’t exist…
- I can’t die with my hair in such awful shape…life is unfair, but I feel the moment has come… I…I…
- Do not worry! Your manicure is immaculate… (caresses her long fingers).
- What’s wrong with my nails? Oh… never mind… I’m sure that our family undertaker will make me ravishing. They’re professionals. You should have seen the wonder they performed on Clovis… and…and stop interrupting me while I’m confessing… tsk!
- Yes, sweetie… (mumbles apologetically)
- Silence (sternly)… Anyway I wanted to tell you something important… one of my darkest secret. It concerns both of us… and then I can quietly pass away… (sounds tired). Now hold your breath…
- … (holds his breath)
- Do you remember that night when we, together with the laboratory staff, got a little bit tipsy … you know, those five bottles of sake you brought to celebrate the new floating system…or something like that. Well, we had a bet with Lloyd, because we both got bored and being drunk and so on…(giggles significantly)
- … (goggles and turns blue)
- So we decided to play with his genetic set… and found out… you’ll be so surprised (energetically squeaks)
- … (trembles due to asphyxia)
- Suza…Suzaku. Are you listening to me? Why are you…? Oh Saint Pendragone, breath now…or you’ll suffocate. I command you to breath.
- Ah… thank…thank you for…for… the permission, your…your Highness (inhales sharply)!
- Why did you…
- Wasn’t it an order (confusedly)?
- My precious dutiful Idiot (thinks and smiles)!
- Please continue with your story, Euphy (shows his undivided attention)
- And I will. Where was I? Oh yes, so we actually borrowed some… oh how he called it? Organic samples and…
- And… (can’t hide his excitement)
- I am your twin sister, Suzaku… (dramatically)
-… (processing current information)
Meanwhile at a huge open stadium a crowd of Japanese surrounds the stage, the witness of recent tragedy. A monotone recitative, mantra alike, becomes deafening: Zero! Zero!Zero… Amidst the stormy human sea a deep booming baritone rings out.
- I am Zero… (the orator in black stylish theatrical costume and equally black helmet flashily poses in front of Japanese plebs)
- Zero…Zero…(the masses shout like an echo)
- Who is your fair leader and protector?
- Zero, zero…
- All right, now that we are officially acquainted with your true messiah in person… ( waves his hand in a black (he troubles a lot about his intimidating image) glove on the big screen, making the crazy mob scream louder)… with all my heart I promise you…elev…the scions of great Samurais that I’ll grant freedom to your nation!
- Zero…Zero…
- And complimentary exclusive tickets to my unique musical! (a real gesture of generosity there)
- Zero…Zero… (repeat like an old stuck record)
- Forget about that British witch, Euphemia…(scornfully)
- Booooooo… (crazy fanatics roar)
- Her style was too dull (jauntily remarks). Now, my devoted followers, march to our office and purchase Zero dolls to support our daring but still needy movement! And those who join our Order now will get a poster of me in my party suit completely gratis… Sincerely yours, Zero!
- Zero…Zero (everyone begins to push their way through)
Suddenly the demagogue vanishes in thick puff and a big black shiny bulletproof limousine drives away at high speed towards the secret base.
By the most conservative estimate two hundred elevens more perished, crushed by their own kind in a mad rush to get to Black Night’s shop first. Indeed, it was a bad day for the well-being of Japanese population…
Back to our problem couple. The young man still can’t believe the incredible statement.
- You mean… (desperately trying to cope with shocking news)… you and I are siblings.
- Yes, I do (nods)…
- But how…? I’m of Japanese origin… it’s just impossible!
- Telegenesis!
- Telegenesis? (asks dumbfoundly)
- Unfortunately our mother couldn’t conceive naturally… without medical intervention. But those responsible for the procedure mixed the sperm capsules. While I got the right…eh…one, by mistake your donor proved to be a famous kendo champion. You’re a half-blood. The family couldn’t allow you to stay so we were separated soon after we had been born. My position as Vice-governor was a mere cause from the very beginning. I arrived here, in Area 11, hoping to reunite with the lost fraternal twin. I have been in shadows all these days we spent together. And then that test and mother’s letter… I know it sounds really strange…
- You bet… (recalls their romantic kisses under the moon and turns green like spinach)
- Suzaku… are you alright?
- I’ll be fine as long as there’re doctors around (stars singing inwardly: no more incest, no more fucking incest…)
- But…
- What…anything else, my dear sister? (uses a gentle brotherly tone)
- The truth is… (her voice grows weak with every syllable)… the truth is that there were three children.
- You’re joking… (bewildered, shakes his head)
- Please… find our…brother…Ze…ze… (her heavy eyelids fall and her hand clasped in his becomes suddenly limp and lifeless)
- Nooooooooooooooooooooo… (keeps yelling while being taken away by a pair of corps men)
Some hours later the gloomy-looking knight is seating by himself, pondering and plotting Vendetta. His princess and just brought to light sister is no longer with him. Kurururgi’s heart and mind are blackened by a poisonous sadness and regret:
- I swear I’ll avenge your honor, Euphy! I’ll make the bastard pay for every drop of your blood. No matter what it takes, Zero’s going down!
(n+1)(n+2)(n+3)……………………………… (n+i) ……………………………………………….. (n+∞
Lloyd, an epitome of a true scientist-figure in a white lab smock and round oculars to accentuate the mad glint in his slightly squinted orbs (these are the main characteristics of those honorable species), enters the scene and proclaims dramatically with his forefinger poised high in the air:
Moral: You may have known the person all your life but only a proper genetic examination can guarantee the sex of your spouse…
All of a sudden his assistant and a charming colleague, Cecile Croomy, appears beside her senior with a loud-speaker and a batch of leaflets in her hands. The tow-haired professor gives a tiny cough in his fist and then his high-pitched voice reverberates against the walls and, unfortunately, ear-drums of audience:
- One… one… one, two, three…well…what a capricious little device…
He taps the instrument with a sadistic persistence, making everyone cringe, but finally stops, being punished with a mild cuff on the nape, courtesy of the beautiful but willful collaborator...
- One…two…Zero… (a few shrieks are heard from the front rows)… Sorry… it was a joke. A harmless joke… miss…Oh my Fundamental Algorithm and Binary Code… miss with a huge black wart on her nose just suffered a heart seizure… for Newton’s sake, is there a doctor among us? Did anyone bring his personal defibrillator tonight? (everybody pitifully shakes their heads in chorus) Never mind…ouch, what was that for? (glares at the watchful overseer and gently rubs his abused occiput)…Turning back to our current issue: I would like to announce… give me that sheet of cellulose…hm…
He takes the prompting and cheerfully recites:
- Dear customers! Hurry up or you will miss the special action. We will gladly exchange all your sakuradite articles to magical shungite pendants without additional payment. Our organization pins the hope on those conscientious citizens who do care about the fragile ecological balance and scientific progress. Thank you very much for the precious attention. And remember: a healthy society is based on care and mutual understanding.
- PS: All the donations will help to refill the budget of our engineering bureau and my new knightmare project (pauses because of another hit on his unlucky cranium) …but of course, our combined knightmare development. I humbly thank you for refreshing that poor dysfunctional memory of mine, dear assistant…and yes, I do perfectly understand the notion of modesty…and corporate spirit. Now can I abandon these primitive biomechanisms and return to my darling polycarboxylic baby? (whispers to the side…after Croomy’s hesitant nod he leaves everyone, mumbling an incoherent medley about advertisement, idiotic investors, protuberances, and painful bumps).
The thick crimson curtain falls…
To be continued…
Фэндом: Code Geass
Название: The fine line between clones and helmets
Пейринг и прочие: Сузаку Куруруги\Юфемия Британская, Зеро, Ллойд, Сесиль
Жанр: Пародия-профана́ция!
Язык: Английский
Перевод: пока не предвидется
Рейтинг: R
Предупреждение: Большое и жирное ООС! Некоторые после прочтения этого захотят по мне проехаться Ланселотом. Я на это готова. Я просто чудовище... ^^"
Дисклеймер: тихое помешательство – мое, герои – совместное порождение Горо Танигучи, Ичиро Окоучи и художественного коллектива CLAMP . У каждого свой сценарий и свой полет.
читать дальше
Summary: The story follows “The symbol of justice” in its style and themes. Sorry, if the humor may be a little outdated but I just couldn’t ignore such funny coincidence. Yes, there are quite a lot of them if you look thoroughly enough. Despite the aura of heart break, Code Geass provides a thick satire piece (hey, you should definitely watch the twelfth episode of the second season). Come to think of it, you’ll probably discover that this wonderful show seems to be an evident parody on our own reality behind that entire romantic grotesque. So onward I go…
Warning: I do not advise to read this story for those who really sympathizes with princess Euphemia about her terrivle death. It may look like a malicious insult but I'll repeat it once again. This is a damn parody. Nothing is sacred enough for a parody!! Do not take it very much to heart because author, herself, adores princess and her principles. And there's no need for comments about my immoral writing because ethics isn't a foreign notion for me! I'm not deleting it.
A parody of a parody…
The fine line between clones and helmets
The golden lines below are currently flowing from nowhere in particular… but, in fact, the author can assure any reader that these bright letters actually appear from the bottom of the current page, because hypothetically speaking… starting with the prudent and accurate philosophers of Ancient Greece we do still believe that something can’t originate from nothing…but it spoils the writer’s message, so he will ignore the Law for the sake of his selfish artistic fancy…
Divided into three parts by those who sought control over common minds, the world is hanging now on the thinnest thread of a ghostly hope. While the gods are keeping their peace, a deathly power is rising in the mortal realm threatening to shatter the Sacred Existence and Cosmic Order. The British Empire, the greatest force of all times, plans to overtake the freedom of all independent alliances in order to fulfill the most fearsome nightmare of the Humankind. The conflict between nations becomes inevitable when a mystical alien energy emerges along with the Sakuradite hunting, the mineral that repeats the history of gold, petroleum, uranium and shungite (what? It’s a very scarce rock, mined only in Karelia). Thus the people of Earth have submerged into the Geass Wars. The power of the cult is given to both sides. Will the darkness prevail over the light or will those brave withstand the global menace? Only time can tell…
.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,
Stage 1/23: Confused bloodlines and vicissitudes of telegenesis
A snow-white cubicle deprived of any life form (designed specially for those who suffer from verminophobia) besides two people: a beautiful but frail-looking young woman, lying on her deathbed, and a crying youth in a bloodstained uniform, who’s shaking while holding her pale hand.
- Su…su…zaku (she whispers feebly)…
- Yes, my dear Euphy… (his voice full of anxiety)
- How’s…my…my (she coughs)…
- Your project…Special Administrative Zone of Japan… it’s fi…fine (tries to sooth her)
- No! You silly knight… my buns are disheveled, aren’t they… Has the wind ruined my hairdo? (nervously, attempts to reach her temples with the free hand but fails miserably)
- Negative, your highness… they’re perfect as usual (grins foolishly)!
- What a nasty little liar you are…
- Sorry, my princess… I’ll reform, just hold on… I can’t exist…
- I can’t die with my hair in such awful shape…life is unfair, but I feel the moment has come… I…I…
- Do not worry! Your manicure is immaculate… (caresses her long fingers).
- What’s wrong with my nails? Oh… never mind… I’m sure that our family undertaker will make me ravishing. They’re professionals. You should have seen the wonder they performed on Clovis… and…and stop interrupting me while I’m confessing… tsk!
- Yes, sweetie… (mumbles apologetically)
- Silence (sternly)… Anyway I wanted to tell you something important… one of my darkest secret. It concerns both of us… and then I can quietly pass away… (sounds tired). Now hold your breath…
- … (holds his breath)
- Do you remember that night when we, together with the laboratory staff, got a little bit tipsy … you know, those five bottles of sake you brought to celebrate the new floating system…or something like that. Well, we had a bet with Lloyd, because we both got bored and being drunk and so on…(giggles significantly)
- … (goggles and turns blue)
- So we decided to play with his genetic set… and found out… you’ll be so surprised (energetically squeaks)
- … (trembles due to asphyxia)
- Suza…Suzaku. Are you listening to me? Why are you…? Oh Saint Pendragone, breath now…or you’ll suffocate. I command you to breath.
- Ah… thank…thank you for…for… the permission, your…your Highness (inhales sharply)!
- Why did you…
- Wasn’t it an order (confusedly)?
- My precious dutiful Idiot (thinks and smiles)!
- Please continue with your story, Euphy (shows his undivided attention)
- And I will. Where was I? Oh yes, so we actually borrowed some… oh how he called it? Organic samples and…
- And… (can’t hide his excitement)
- I am your twin sister, Suzaku… (dramatically)
-… (processing current information)
Meanwhile at a huge open stadium a crowd of Japanese surrounds the stage, the witness of recent tragedy. A monotone recitative, mantra alike, becomes deafening: Zero! Zero!Zero… Amidst the stormy human sea a deep booming baritone rings out.
- I am Zero… (the orator in black stylish theatrical costume and equally black helmet flashily poses in front of Japanese plebs)
- Zero…Zero…(the masses shout like an echo)
- Who is your fair leader and protector?
- Zero, zero…
- All right, now that we are officially acquainted with your true messiah in person… ( waves his hand in a black (he troubles a lot about his intimidating image) glove on the big screen, making the crazy mob scream louder)… with all my heart I promise you…elev…the scions of great Samurais that I’ll grant freedom to your nation!
- Zero…Zero…
- And complimentary exclusive tickets to my unique musical! (a real gesture of generosity there)
- Zero…Zero… (repeat like an old stuck record)
- Forget about that British witch, Euphemia…(scornfully)
- Booooooo… (crazy fanatics roar)
- Her style was too dull (jauntily remarks). Now, my devoted followers, march to our office and purchase Zero dolls to support our daring but still needy movement! And those who join our Order now will get a poster of me in my party suit completely gratis… Sincerely yours, Zero!
- Zero…Zero (everyone begins to push their way through)
Suddenly the demagogue vanishes in thick puff and a big black shiny bulletproof limousine drives away at high speed towards the secret base.
By the most conservative estimate two hundred elevens more perished, crushed by their own kind in a mad rush to get to Black Night’s shop first. Indeed, it was a bad day for the well-being of Japanese population…
Back to our problem couple. The young man still can’t believe the incredible statement.
- You mean… (desperately trying to cope with shocking news)… you and I are siblings.
- Yes, I do (nods)…
- But how…? I’m of Japanese origin… it’s just impossible!
- Telegenesis!
- Telegenesis? (asks dumbfoundly)
- Unfortunately our mother couldn’t conceive naturally… without medical intervention. But those responsible for the procedure mixed the sperm capsules. While I got the right…eh…one, by mistake your donor proved to be a famous kendo champion. You’re a half-blood. The family couldn’t allow you to stay so we were separated soon after we had been born. My position as Vice-governor was a mere cause from the very beginning. I arrived here, in Area 11, hoping to reunite with the lost fraternal twin. I have been in shadows all these days we spent together. And then that test and mother’s letter… I know it sounds really strange…
- You bet… (recalls their romantic kisses under the moon and turns green like spinach)
- Suzaku… are you alright?
- I’ll be fine as long as there’re doctors around (stars singing inwardly: no more incest, no more fucking incest…)
- But…
- What…anything else, my dear sister? (uses a gentle brotherly tone)
- The truth is… (her voice grows weak with every syllable)… the truth is that there were three children.
- You’re joking… (bewildered, shakes his head)
- Please… find our…brother…Ze…ze… (her heavy eyelids fall and her hand clasped in his becomes suddenly limp and lifeless)
- Nooooooooooooooooooooo… (keeps yelling while being taken away by a pair of corps men)
Some hours later the gloomy-looking knight is seating by himself, pondering and plotting Vendetta. His princess and just brought to light sister is no longer with him. Kurururgi’s heart and mind are blackened by a poisonous sadness and regret:
- I swear I’ll avenge your honor, Euphy! I’ll make the bastard pay for every drop of your blood. No matter what it takes, Zero’s going down!
(n+1)(n+2)(n+3)……………………………… (n+i) ……………………………………………….. (n+∞
Lloyd, an epitome of a true scientist-figure in a white lab smock and round oculars to accentuate the mad glint in his slightly squinted orbs (these are the main characteristics of those honorable species), enters the scene and proclaims dramatically with his forefinger poised high in the air:
Moral: You may have known the person all your life but only a proper genetic examination can guarantee the sex of your spouse…
All of a sudden his assistant and a charming colleague, Cecile Croomy, appears beside her senior with a loud-speaker and a batch of leaflets in her hands. The tow-haired professor gives a tiny cough in his fist and then his high-pitched voice reverberates against the walls and, unfortunately, ear-drums of audience:
- One… one… one, two, three…well…what a capricious little device…
He taps the instrument with a sadistic persistence, making everyone cringe, but finally stops, being punished with a mild cuff on the nape, courtesy of the beautiful but willful collaborator...
- One…two…Zero… (a few shrieks are heard from the front rows)… Sorry… it was a joke. A harmless joke… miss…Oh my Fundamental Algorithm and Binary Code… miss with a huge black wart on her nose just suffered a heart seizure… for Newton’s sake, is there a doctor among us? Did anyone bring his personal defibrillator tonight? (everybody pitifully shakes their heads in chorus) Never mind…ouch, what was that for? (glares at the watchful overseer and gently rubs his abused occiput)…Turning back to our current issue: I would like to announce… give me that sheet of cellulose…hm…
He takes the prompting and cheerfully recites:
- Dear customers! Hurry up or you will miss the special action. We will gladly exchange all your sakuradite articles to magical shungite pendants without additional payment. Our organization pins the hope on those conscientious citizens who do care about the fragile ecological balance and scientific progress. Thank you very much for the precious attention. And remember: a healthy society is based on care and mutual understanding.
- PS: All the donations will help to refill the budget of our engineering bureau and my new knightmare project (pauses because of another hit on his unlucky cranium) …but of course, our combined knightmare development. I humbly thank you for refreshing that poor dysfunctional memory of mine, dear assistant…and yes, I do perfectly understand the notion of modesty…and corporate spirit. Now can I abandon these primitive biomechanisms and return to my darling polycarboxylic baby? (whispers to the side…after Croomy’s hesitant nod he leaves everyone, mumbling an incoherent medley about advertisement, idiotic investors, protuberances, and painful bumps).
The thick crimson curtain falls…
To be continued…
@темы: Fanfiction /фанфики
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17.11.2008 в 17:35З. Ы. Я - линтвист, 11 лет изучения английского дали свое. Стилистику не трогаю, исключительно граматика. Пример: for those who really sympathizes those - множественное колличество, а sympathizes - относится к единственному числу.
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17.11.2008 в 17:49И еще опечатки, но это наверное итак знаете.
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17.11.2008 в 19:14Нет, ну знаете, тут очень элементарно построены фразы. Уж простите... а английского я начиталась вдоволь. Но в последнее время читаю научную литературу, а не беллетристику. А там фразы пострашнее будут...
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17.11.2008 в 19:26-
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17.11.2008 в 19:38-
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17.11.2008 в 19:43-
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17.11.2008 в 19:55